Thriving Through Holiday Gatherings: Strategies for Individuals in Recovery
As the outside temperature drops and leaves turn brilliant shades before falling, excitement for the holiday season begins to grow. While many eagerly anticipate festive gatherings, whether it's Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas celebrations, Hanukkah festivities, Kwanzaa events, or New Year’s parties, it’s essential to remember those in recovery, especially early recovery, from an alcohol use disorder. For these individuals, this time of year can feel especially overwhelming, as the presence of alcohol tends to be included at nearly every holiday event and often becomes a focal point of social traditions in the United States. This heightened prevalence not only intensifies vulnerability for those working to maintain sobriety but also adds anxiety about participating in gatherings where their recovery may be challenged. For people in early recovery, the holidays can present unique risks, requiring them to navigate heightened social pressures and environments that may trigger cravings.
One significant challenge individuals in recovery may face during holiday gatherings is the stigma associated with substance use disorders. This stigma can manifest as judgment, misunderstanding, or unwanted attention from others who may not fully appreciate that addiction is a medical condition rather than a personal failing. As a result, individuals may experience feelings of shame, not being “good enough” not being “normal” or not being able to have fun without drinking alcohol. These feelings may make it more difficult to maintain sobriety, foster isolation, or discourage open conversations about recovery needs. Recognizing these emotional hurdles and addressing them with compassion and understanding is essential for both those in recovery and their support networks.
As individuals in recovery navigate the challenges of holiday gatherings, it's equally valuable for family members and friends to learn effective ways to offer meaningful support; together, these practical tips can help everyone enjoy a safe and fulfilling holiday season.
Holiday Recovery Strategies
Practice the H.A.L.T. principle: avoid becoming too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. These triggers can make it harder to maintain sobriety, especially during the holiday season. Try to eat something before attending events, reflect on and release any lingering resentment, spend time with supportive friends, and ensure you are well-rested.
Surround yourself with friends and family who genuinely support your recovery journey. If you participate in a recovery program such as AA, NA, Dharma, SMART Recovery, or Women for Sobriety, consider attending extra meetings during the holidays. Take advantage of this time to connect more frequently with your sponsor and others who understand your experience, strengthen your support network, reinforcing your commitment to sobriety.
Prepare yourself ahead of time with a clear reason to attend the gathering and a well-thought-out plan for when to leave. Anticipate potential triggers and ensure you have reliable transportation and a safe exit plan in place. Whenever possible, attend holiday events with someone who genuinely understands and supports your recovery journey. Having a trusted companion by your side can offer reassurance, encouragement, and practical assistance if the environment becomes challenging, helping you stay grounded in your commitment to sobriety.
Consider in advance who will be attending the event, especially noting those who may also choose to remain alcohol-free for any reason. Stay close to these individuals and, if you feel comfortable, share your intention to avoid alcohol. You don’t have to share your reasons unless you want to.
If you feel comfortable, consider letting the host know ahead of time that you’ll be skipping alcoholic beverages. Bringing your own “special” nonalcoholic drink such as sparkling apple cider or a favorite flavored seltzer which ensures you’ll have something festive and enjoyable to sip throughout the event.
While at the party, keep a nonalcoholic beverage in hand, whether it’s soda water with lime, herbal iced tea, or another favorite. Having a drink to hold can help you blend in with other guests and may also make it easier to resist temptation.
Make plans for a positive, alcohol-free activity afterward the gathering, such as catching a movie, playing pickleball or tennis, taking a bike ride, or going for a hike with a friend.
Supporting Loved Ones in Recovery During Holiday Gatherings
Family members who want to support their loved ones’ recovery often have questions about how to handle family gatherings. Should we keep alcohol in the house? Is it appropriate to serve alcohol to our guests? Should we let others know about our loved ones’ commitment to sobriety?
Let your loved one know you truly recognize and honor their ongoing dedication to health and sobriety, and that your goal is to offer meaningful support every step of the way. Invite them to share how and whether they want to discuss their recovery journey with others, making it clear that their comfort and preferences come first. Remember, recovery is an ongoing process, not a single milestone, and your genuine encouragement can have a lasting, positive impact.
It’s common for someone in early recovery to feel uneasy about requesting an alcohol-free environment. They may worry that their struggles have already caused enough stress for the family. However, having an open conversation about this is crucial. For perspective, if one of your children had a peanut allergy, you wouldn’t serve dishes containing peanuts or offer them as snacks. Creating a safe environment for everyone is simply an act of care and consideration.
Explore hosting an alcohol-free Thanksgiving meal or holiday gathering. Choosing to make holiday events alcohol-free, especially in early recovery, is a thoughtful option that deserves serious reflection.
Remember, as awareness grows about the risks associated with alcohol, more people are choosing to skip it, whether for health reasons or simply to avoid unnecessary exposure to carcinogens.
If hosting an entirely alcohol-free event feels overwhelming, be sure to provide a variety of appealing nonalcoholic beverages. This could include sodas, iced teas, and sparkling water like Perrier or Pellegrino. You might also consider offering a festive mocktail or another celebratory drink, so everyone has something special and enjoyable to sip throughout the gathering.
When planning a party or meal, reassure your recovering loved one that you fully respect and support their decision to leave early if needed. Emphasize that their well-being is your priority and that you honor their choice to put their health and comfort first. Clearly expressing this creates a safe, understanding environment where they can take care of themselves without feeling guilt or pressure.
If you’re part of a family-focused recovery group like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, consider connecting with your sponsor or group members during the holidays. These communities offer valuable advice on managing stress and supporting loved ones in recovery. By staying involved and exchanging ideas, you’ll find practical strategies and build a supportive network to help your family navigate the season with compassion.